 There quite literally is not one happy marriage happening in Riverdale. Maybe it’s the water, maybe it’s the maple syrup, maybe it’s the disturbing amount of redheads . . . but relationships are not meant to survive in that town. Tensions ran high in this episode with double crosses and back alley deals happening all over the place. Riverdale is a dangerous place to live. But they do have Skeet Ulrich, so there’s that. Let’s get to it . . . How many times can you reference abortion without actually saying the word ‘abortion’? I counted five times, but I may have missed one. I’m assuming it’s a CW censorship thing, but I was surprised they had to avoid the word as it’s absence made it all the more obvious, but I suppose that was the point. This week, Mr. Cooper became oh so much darker than just some guy who breaks into the Sheriff’s house to steal his murder wall. He’s harboring such a hatred for the Blossoms that he actually wanted his daughter to abort the baby. The guy is certainly carrying enough hate to push him over to the darkside, but his banishment from the Cooper household says a lot more about Alice Cooper (the blonde chick, not the guy who used to bite heads off chickens on stage) than it does about him. Mrs. Cooper has always seemed so controlled in her insanity, however we certainly saw some cracks as she tries to deal with the Blossom family now trying to steal her daughter, while also revealing her own shadowy past, also at the hands of her husband. There goes another Riverdale marriage. 
0 Comments
**Minor spoilers included - but let's face it, there aren't going to be a ton of earth-shattering surprises in here :) It didn't carry the same cheese levels of the series but instead firmly planted itself somewhere between "sure, we'll accept these kids are misfits but share a common bond" and "yeah! giant freakin kung-fu robot!"
The trailer looked okay though it seemed like a cross between the Breakfast Club and Transformers (something unanimously resonating across critical reviews everywhere, and for good reason). In the end it was quite unexpectedly enjoyable. It didn't carry the same cheese levels of the series but instead firmly planted itself somewhere between "sure, we'll accept these kids are misfits but share a common bond" and "yeah! giant freakin kung-fu robot!" By doing this, it actually hit a bit of a sweet spot that movies like Transformers (who are determined to take themselves seriously) have failed to hit. Discount Zac Efron (Dacre Montgomery) did a suitable job as the leader of the pack, and Becky G as the yellow ranger delivered her emotional lines with the most conviction. The black ranger who was actually the blue ranger (there's a joke in the movie about it), played by RJ Cyler stole the show most of the time because he had the right mix of sincerity and comedic timing to tie it all together. I think this is partially due to his character being "on the spectrum" as he describes it. This allowed him to emote and relate on a bit of a different level than everyone else. Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa (these names crack me up! Look out! Rita is coming!) seemed like she was having a great time in the costume and really got into her role, as did Brian Cranston who I honestly believe could play absolutely any role offered to him. When the last thirty minutes of the movie descends into armour-clad rangers, rock monsters, a giant gold monster, and a big kung-fu robot, you no longer care. You just want this hapless band of misfits to succeed. Enough tiny bits of depth were given to the characterization of each of the rangers so you actually cared about them. Covering popular teen angst subjects like acceptance, forgiveness, shaming, sexuality, and popularity, the overall theme of the movie of teamwork despite differences is a simple one but it worked. When the last thirty minutes of the movie descends into armour-clad rangers, rock monsters, a giant gold monster, and a big kung-fu robot, you no longer care. You just want this hapless band of misfits to succeed.
My kids loved it, even my teenage daughter, who was fully expecting to sleep through it, had a great time. It's fun and popcorn-fuelled, and worth a watch.  JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2There are few action movies that display such a unique style when it comes to delivering head-exploding thrills.
LOGANLogan was a heart-wrenching movie full of great action, brutal snikt attacks, and some truly touching moments.
KONG: SKULL ISLANDKong stole the show and resumed his pre-Peter Jackson status as a movie monster and not just a giant ape.
FIFTY SHADES DARKERAnastasia is the laziest lover in the world and has the sexual sensitivity of a landmine.
 This again? Yes, this again! There’s still a killer on the loose and with new evidence comes new suspects. And as we’re sadly without a new episode of Riverdale for a couple more weeks, now seems like the perfect time to take a look at the current list of likely (and unlikely) suspects. **Spoilers Ahead! - If you’re not up to date on the latest episode of Riverdale, turn back now while you still can. You’ve been warned** Here’s what we know:
‘UNLIKELY SUSPECTS’ LIST Jughead Jones - Although he was arrested ever so briefly, and his dad is the leader of some shady biker gang, Jughead is the most unlikely of suspects. However, he’s yet to provide an alibi for his whereabouts on July 4th. But let’s face it, he’s a main character, and a fan favourite. It’s not him. Fred Andrews - Not a chance. Nicest guy in Riverdale. Not a murderer. Archie Andrews - Main character of the entire show and he was far too busy nailing his music teacher on July 4th. Sadly, this also means Mrs. Grundy is also off the hook. Veronica Lodge - Wasn’t even in town. She shouldn’t be on this list. But she’s awesome and worth mentioning. Mr. Jones - Riverdale is full of twists and turns and Jason’s jacket hanging in Mr. Jones’ closet seems to be damning evidence. He’s a biker with a gang, he’s been arrested a number of times, and he looks a lot like Skeet Ulrich. However, it’s the jacket being in his closet that breaks the deal for me. It’s too obvious so it can’t be him.  Cheryl Blossom - It was a possibility early on but Cheryl went from being too obvious of a choice to being too broken to be a suspect. Jason was her only form of stability at home and with him gone, she’s likely to go crazier as time goes on. But for the time being, she’s off the list. Could Jason have been killed by a blonde wearing a black wig, armed with a bottle of maple syrup? ‘POSSIBLY A SUSPECT’ LIST Betty Cooper - She’s almost off the list because she’s a main character . . . but then again, she has that weird disassociated dark side that we’ve yet to deal with. Could Jason have been killed by a blonde wearing a black wig, armed with a bottle of maple syrup?  Mr. & Mrs. Cooper - These guys fall under the ‘too obvious’ category even though they’re clearly slightly unhinged. They have the motive thanks to the family feud and Mr. Cooper was the one to destroy the murder wall in Sheriff Keller’s house but there’s too much evidence against them so it can’t be them. Can it? Polly Cooper - I really didn’t think Polly even existed but it turns out she’s real and pregnant. Did she kill Jason and then lose her mind and get committed to the asylum, or is she truly the love of Jason’s life? If she’s the killer, what’s the motive? She stays on the list. Kevin Keller - Kevin should be on the list because he’s simply not an obvious choice. I can’t think of any motive he would have to kill Jason but that’s just the sort of twist the writers of Riverdale would throw at us. I love his character though so I sincerely hope it isn’t him. Granny Blossom - Sure, she’s in a wheelchair but she’s scary as all hell. Like crypt keeper scary. Yeah, it’s probably not her . . . Mr. & Mrs. Blossom - They’re far too attached to their kids, and Jason seemed like he was the golden boy in that family so I can’t imagine it’s them, although Penelope gets points for being extra bat-s**t crazy. Chuck Clayton - After Chuck was exposed as a slut shamer, there was a closing narrative that suggested there would be consequences in the weeks to come. Does this mean more will be revealed about Riverdale’s former football star? Maybe the revelation of a dark past? He stays on the list. Who’s Joaquin? MY THEORY It changes week to week but at the moment I feel Joaquin is the most likely killer. Who’s Joaquin? He’s the Southside Serpent that made out with Kevin at the drive-in! The Southside Serpents are clearly the bad guys of Riverdale and Kevin’s new love interest is perfectly positioned to plant a jacket in a fellow gang-member’s closet. Being the love interest of the Sheriff’s son would also cause lots of drama if he was convicted and would cause conflict between Kevin and his father. My money's on Joaquin . . .  Who do you think’s the most likely suspect?  That 50’s style comic book opening scene with Jughead wearing his crown and Archie in the sweater with the bowtie was beautifully shot, iconically accurate, and all sorts of creepy. This is something that Riverdale does well, I’ve seen it since episode one and they’ve managed to maintain it almost every single week so far: they commit to the weekly theme and they hit it hard right on the offset. Sure, they’ve only got 42(ish) minutes to work with so there’s no time to beat around the bush, but major props have to go to the producers, writers, and showrunners for consistently hitting the right notes in what’s become an almost perfect symphony of characters and story arcs. This week’s themes of ‘home’ and ‘hope’ are driven like a knife through Archie’s back during that opening sequence that narratively asks the question as to what a home truly is. We’ve seen so many different homes in Riverdale already, it’s easy to see why that particular theme probably gets revisited more than most but it was especially poignant this week with Jughead’s story. So let’s get to it . . . I feel Archie redeemed himself a little this week after last week’s severe dip in his collective IQ. While he doesn’t shine through as being incredibly intuitive (he managed to ignore the fact that Jughead was homeless for how long?) he grabs some major points for having a heart of gold. He feels bad that he wasn’t there for Betty during her time of need and he fights to help Jughead by arranging for Mr. Jones to go back to work even though he doesn’t even have the full back story yet, he just wants to help his hurting friend. His dedication as a friend despite differences or awkwardness actually gave him a few moments to shine. Yes, he’s completely overshadowed by everyone else on the show but I still feel he gained a little ground this week.  After Polly’s magical escape from the mental institution, she sneaks (like a ninja) into her parent’s attic only to be found by Betty. All the characters in Riverdale have such strong personalities and stories, I’m having a little trouble getting behind Polly though. While she’s obviously not the ‘party girl’ that the Blossoms paint her to be, there’s something not quite right about that girl, and her continuing to cling to wanting to go live on a farm somewhere just doesn’t seem grounded in reality.
 You may think you’re reading a blog post right now. But you’d be mistaken. Now you’re beginning to wonder; if you’re not reading a blog post, what are you reading? Well, all I can do is assure you once again that it’s not a blog post. What you’re actually reading is nothing. That’s right, nothing. Here, I’ll put it in quotation marks so you know I’m being deadly serious: “nothing.” Now I’m going to put other words in quotation marks to make this particular paragraph about nothing far more interesting: “Chinchilla,” “Fruit Popsicle,” “Leonard Nimoy,” and, of course, “Ker-Splat.” Welcome to the third paragraph, to remain consistent with the two previous paragraphs you just read, this one shall also be about nothing. But in order to re-enforce my two opening paragraphs, let’s look at some statistics:
  Parental dysfunction was alive and well in this week’s episode. Add to that a healthy dose of fear, performance anxiety, adults pushing their insecurities onto their kids, and teen pregnancy, well . . . it’s just another week in Riverdale. Right off the bat I’m going to have to admit defeat. I was wrong about the split personality theory and I’m fairly certain that Polly is no longer just a figment of Betty’s imagination. We got to meet Polly, it finally happened. After an awkward breakfast and an over-emphasis of the word ‘Jughead’ with Mrs. Cooper, Betty and Jug succeed in discovering the location of Polly. She’s sitting uncomfortably at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy: Home For Troubled Youth (beautifully shot at the abandoned Crease Clinic at Riverview Mental Hospital in Coquitlam BC. How do I know this? Because I shot a short film there a decade ago on the heels of Ashton Kutcher’s ‘The Butterfly Effect’).  Polly is all you’d expect: blonde, beautiful, pregnant . . . wait, what? Yes, pregnant! Score a point for teen angsty drama goodness. So Polly isn’t crazy, or is she? It’s actually unclear but the show finally revealing Polly in all her glory gives an interesting amount of validity to the pure evil of the Cooper parents. Polly was going to run away with a redhead. Not exactly grounds for committing someone to an asylum. I should know, I’m married to a redhead. The scene in Betty’s bedroom when Mrs. Cooper busts out her best evil laugh is chilling and I was half expecting a ‘yeah, I killed him, what of it!?’ moment but it didn’t happen. However, I think the Cooper parents are still off the hook because they’re too obvious to be the killers. Polly was going to run away with a redhead. Not exactly grounds for committing someone to an asylum.  Really, it could still be anyone at this point, but let’s take a look at the main suspects, and then I want to hear from you guys . . . who do you think is the killer?
Cheryl Blossom - Yes, she’s the super-evil redheaded queen of Riverdale, and yes Jason was her brother, and absolutely she was there when he disappeared. But unfortunately Cheryl falls under the ‘too obvious’ category. Plus her little breakdown at the funeral and her tumultuous relationship with her mother all but proves that Jason was the only shining spec of goodness in Cheryl’s life. She’s officially off the list. Betty/Polly - There’s a lot of evidence stacking up against the Cooper sisters: Betty is on adderall and fails to take her meds (episode 1), she threatens to kill Cheryl (episode 2), she assumes Polly’s identity to torture Chuck (episode 3), breaking and entering (episode 4). But again, isn’t she too obvious to be the killer? Polly on the other hand, while being an obvious choice, we still haven’t seen her yet . . . Mrs. Cooper - Maniacal and slightly unhinged, Mrs. Cooper is a prime suspect. Her overbearing attitude with Betty and her hatred of gingers (and Veronica) certainly places her well within the realm of potential murderer but I’m not completely sold . . . yet. Reggie - Reggie was a jerk in the comic books but even more so in the TV show. Could he have been harbouring some jealousy toward Jason? He did jokingly accuse Jughead of killing Jason in episode 2. Could that have been an act of transference to distract people from his murderous deeds? Mr. Cooper - This creepy guy was high up on my list before the last episode. Up until now we’ve only seen him briefly and he’s always being heavily overshadowed by his wife who is a domineering ‘rhymes with itch’. That sort of pressure, coupled with what we now know happened to his daughter and his grandfather, will make anyone crack. It’s always the quiet ones . . . but with all the evidence stacked against him, his clear motive, and the fact he was the one that ransacked the Sheriff’s murder wall, well now he seems too damn obvious! Miss. Grundy - Sure, we saw her drive away last week but that doesn’t mean the resident seductress of innocent teens is completely out of the picture. She tutored Jason, and we all know how in-depth her private lessons tend to be. Maybe Jason didn’t like the way she played that cello? Maybe that upset her? Maybe they were having a fling and he threatened to tell?! Mr. Jones and the Southside Serpents - This almost falls under the ‘too obvious’ category but Jason was kidnapped, tortured, and then shot. For one person to do it all would be a lot of work and a serious time commitment. Jughead’s dear old dad has a team of nefarious bikers at his back . . . coincidence?! Yeah, probably a coincidence. Ethel - #justiceforethel! This is a bit of a stretch but Ethel was wronged by the jocks and she really, really enjoyed Betty’s torture of Chuck a few weeks ago. Maybe Ethel has a dark side? An underneath, so to speak. See what I did there? VERDICT? - Until this last episode I was going to call Mr. Cooper as the clear murderer. Now I’m more inclined to lead toward Ethel or Mr. Jones . . . . . . what do you think? |
Welcome to the blog of Author, Andrew Buckley. Why Blogocity? Why do I need a reason? Here you’ll find updates, musings, vlogs, audio clips, images, events, and all sorts of other silly stuff. Enjoy!
Archives
May 2019
|
RSS Feed
