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I almost wish every episode of Riverdale was told in this exact same format. Why? A) It’s super easy to review because the storylines are neatly packaged. And B) it was just plain fun. Something that Riverdale has so badly needed after progressively going darker and darker since the beginning of the season. While none of the segments on the Tales from the Darkside episode were fun and cheerful, they did provide a certain amount of levity in the otherwise grim painting that has become Riverdale.  In the vein of George A. Romero’s TV show and movie of the same name, this week’s episode of Riverdale used interlocking and overlapping vignettes to progress the story in an artistic and creepy way. While the show is certainly edging more into horror territory here, it may (hopefully) just be a nod to the genre. Regardless, it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed this episode more than the previous few. The episode opens with the Black Hood making a threat to Riverdale, warning everyone to just lay of the sinning for 48 hours. Come on, guys! You can’t do it (or not do it) for 48 hours? The answer is no, no they can’t. Let’s break it down and cut it up like a dead deer sitting in a tarp in the back of a pickup truck . . . (too dark?) ARCHIE & JUGHEAD The first story follows the bosom buddies as Jughead is roped into a new gig as chief drug delivery boy for the ominous Penny Peabody. Manipulating our favourite crown-wearing narrator into the job by weaving a yarn about Jug’s dad getting beat up, it’s not long before Jughead and Archie are transporting pancake mix to Greendale in the dead of night. After a blown tire leaves them stranded, a stranger in a pickup (the ever-creepy Tony Todd) offers one of them a ride and takes Jughead out for dinner and regales him with the tale of the Riverdale Reaper. What a shocker. Riverdale had another serial killer on the loose in the past. I bet real estate is all sorts of cheap.  After Archie rescues Jughead from the stranger, they make the delivery and are met with a younger version of the old woman from The Goonies who accepts delivery and informs Jughead that he’s in it for the long haul. When Jug visits his dad and discovers he’s unscathed he confronts Peabody and we discover she’s settling an old debt with FP by using Jughead to deliver drugs. Looks like there’s no way out . . . or is there? JOSIE It was nice to see Josie come to the forefront for a change, though her story was probably the one that gained the least traction. Simply because not much happened. Josie has been approached to experiment with a solo career, something she keeps from her Pussycats and pays for dearly later in the episode when they ditch her. Meanwhile, she’s also receiving secret notes in her locker, a stuffed teddy bear, a drawing, and, of course, a pig’s heart. Remember kids, nothing says I love you like the heart of a pig.  So who is the secret admirer? On the one hand it briefly seemed like Mr. Svenson, and then Chuck Clayton made his return to the show after being ousted in season one for being somewhat of a sexual predator. The new and improved church-going Chuck is determined to win Josie’s heart and takes her to Pop’s for an impromptu date. Much to the chagrin of Mayor McCoy who doesn’t want her daughter hanging around with Chuck. And she’s rightfully on edge having received her own set of death threats since the Black Hood started turning Riverdale into his own little murder playground. After the arrival of the pig’s heart, Josie accuses Chuck and he’s once again sent to the Principal’s office. While his name is later cleared by Keller it leaves us to wonder who is Josie’s secret admirer? As it turns out, it’s not an admirer, more of a manipulative redhead. Cheryl is the one pulling Josie’s strings, though I’m not entirely certain why. Also, where do you get a fresh pig’s heart anyway? BETTY & VERONICA The final story was a little more fun in the sense that B & V are out to discover just what’s happening with Sheriff Keller. Betty believes he’s the Black Hood and Veronica believes he’s having an affair. Points to Ronnie because she’s absolutely right. After an investigation that involves a nerdy sleep over at Kevin’s house and trailing Sheriff McCoy late at night, we discover he is in fact having an affair with Mayor McCoy.  All these stories happen in the same night or couple of nights and the three groups converge on Pop’s, which is apparently open 24 hours, just in time for the Black Hood to call in to let them know they’ve failed his test and it’s time for the killing to begin again. At this point it shouldn’t be difficult to find a victim. Just a throw a rock in any which direction and there’s a good chance you’ll hit someone up to no good. Until next time . . . Stray Thoughts of Awesomeness . . . - “Bert and Ernie”. Ha. That’s amusing on several levels. - Chuck Clayton was a comic book artist in the Archie comic books . . . wait, is that meta? - Mr. Svenson! Sure, he might be a weird creeper. But still, it’s Mr. Svenson! - Almost thought the truck driver was the Candyman . . . holy crap! That IS the Candyman! - Damn. Sheriff Keller. 
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Everyone in Riverdale wears a mask according to Jughead’s dark and ominous narration in this week’s new episode titled ‘Death Proof’. And he’s not wrong. From black ski masks, to rubber serpent masks, to the wolf masks from last season, to this season’s red circle head gear, there are truly a lot of masks in this town. Oh wait, he was using the mask statement as a metaphor . . . ? Okay fine, it’s less interesting, but let’s talk about that . . .  Last week was a shocking turning point for Betty Cooper as she pointed the finger of death at Nick St. Claire, and this week we saw the result of that. Nothing. That was the result. The Black Hood likes to play his little games, doesn’t he? After racing to find out if the Hood made good on his word, she finds a slightly beaten up Nick being taken in for questioning. There was a lot of ‘will he get away with it or won’t he’ in this episode. Fortunately there’s more than one angel of death (or near-death) in Riverdale . . . Upon hearing Veronica’s confession that Nick tried to force himself on her, the Lodges arrange for an ‘accident’ as punishment. Something that Veronica happily revels in.  The Jughead/Toni relationship turned out to be a non-starter. While she’s clearly there as a Betty alternative, the writers made the wise choice to not double down on Tughead. Especially since the actress already received a few death threats from Bughead shippers. Nothing serious happened between the pair and Toni is more into girls anyway (“Roger that.”) so we can now write off that whole thing as a minor distraction. While Nick is being questioned, the parents of Riverdale assemble their kids at the Coopers to address the drug problem. A problem that wasn’t really a problem until the mayor discovers her dear little Josie has been hitting the catnip herself. The result is a raid on Southside High with many of the Serpents and Ghouls getting arrested . . . which leads to an interesting observation: most of these gang members, the ones who hang out in bars, are teenagers?  Regardless, Archie pulls Jughead out just in time. With most of the gang members imprisoned, Tall Boy (seriously with these names?) puts forward an option to align the two south side gangs which doesn’t sit well with Jughead. He’s okay being in a violent gang, but not one that deals the Jingle Jangle. Archie and Jughead to FP for advice and we’re treated to a bit of Skeet Ulrich goodness. FP’s bright idea is to challenge the gang to a drag race, ala Grease complete with Cheryl filling the Annette Charles role. The whole thing is thwarted by a backhanded set up by Archie that results in the ghouls heading to prison for a few months. A plan which infuriates Jughead, and rightly so. Archie clearly doesn’t understand gang warfare.  Throughout this whole episode a new mystery is weaved in the form of The Sugar Man. I wish they’d built on this a little rather than introducing the drug dealing boogeyman and then revealing his identity in the very same episode. I feel there was more mileage to get out of this concept. After making amends with Veronica, Betty ropes in Cheryl to help figure out who the Sugar Man really is because it’s the only thing that will stop the Black Hood in his murderess tracks. Blackmailing her mother, Cheryl discovers the identity of the Sugar Man and Penelope and her share a nice, ever so slightly creepy, mother daughter moment.  The Sugar Man turns out to be the same teacher that helped Jughead get the school newspaper up and running. Again, there just wasn’t enough development for this to be a big shocker because we didn’t really care about that teacher in the first place. Instead of giving up the identity of the drug dealer to the Black Hood, Betty hands the info to Sheriff Keller and tells the Black Hood where to go and how to get there. With shades of Liam Neeson in ‘Taken’, Betty tells the Hood that she’s coming for him next: "I'm breathing down your neck. Can you feel it?” <shudder> For once we get a happy ending with Jughead and Betty (reconciled) on the couch just hanging out. Oh, and the Black Hood kills the Sugar Man anyway.  THE BLACK HOOD SUSPECT LIST Hal Cooper - I’m still sticking to this as my main theory because he’s the most motivated and very absent these days. Sheriff Keller - It seems unlikely considering who his son is and how supportive he is as a father, but how many people can get into a prison cell and kill someone . . . ? Tall Boy - I include him only because he could be the killer. But only the killer. He’s a minor character and his capture or death on the show wouldn’t do any permanent damage story-wise, but he doesn’t have any motivation to do what he’s doing. If Tall Boy is the killer, then there’s a second mastermind pulling the strings. Penelope Blossom - She’s clearly evil. Until next week . . .  Stray Thoughts of Awesomeness . . .
Let’s turn the teen angst level up a notch! Because let’s face it, Riverdale is normally so tame and bland . . . This week we had violence, date rape, drugs, psychological torture, and Hot Dog. Oh, and I have a theory as to who the Black Hood is . . . let’s get to it.  In a not so surprising turn of events, Jughead decides to go full Serpent. He’s been heading this way for a while and he’s barely been involved in the ‘Archie and the Gang’ stories this season. Clearly he’ll make a comeback at some point, but for now he’s heading down a dark road. Though in his mind he’s clearly doing good as he plans to help keep the peace between the North and the South in a way that Eddard Stark never could. To do that he’s got to prove himself to his new friends by passing the Serpent’s initiations. A set of trials to prove his metal ranging from dog sitting Hot Dog (Yay Hot Dog!) to shouting some rules in a bar to playing with snakes to getting beaten up by the people he’s hoping to befriend. I can’t decide whether they’re a gang or a sorority. But he passes the test and then makes out with Toni. Do you smell that? That’s inevitability.  On the Lodge side of the world, things aren’t going perfectly and they need to stir up some capital for their new development. As such, the St. Claires come to town along with their son Nick, an old pal of Veronica’s. They party it up, the jingle jangle is flowing, Nick hits on Ronnie, who has none of it, and then Nick admits to being an addict, and all is forgiven. Classic one episode redemption story. The jackass rich boy has his own demons and we all feel a little sorry for him, but wait! Then he goes and drugs our fave redhead and we learn it’s not a redemption story at all. We also learn the only thing worse than a Serpent’s Gauntlet is the Pussycat’s Gauntlet, as the sometimes trio (deservedly) beat the living hell out of Nick. Despite Cheryl always painting herself as an outsider, she always has a lot of friends, Archie included, ready to rally behind her. That’s the power of gingers, people.  Now to the juicy stuff . . . The Black Hood didn’t kill anyone this week, or at least he killed no humans. But he did put a bullet in ‘B & V’ and slit ‘Bughead’s’ throat. Betty and the Black Hood have been getting chatty and other than letting Archie in on the secret, Betty is taking on the masked vigilante all by herself. This is having a clear and marked effect on our blonde bombshell and she’s not handling it well at all. The Black Hood’s claims of loyalty to her and his abstinence from killing as long as she does what he says means Betty is completely under his control. She lays waste to Veronica, calling her out (though she didn’t really say anything that wasn’t true) and she breaks up with Jughead via Archie. I have a bit of a problem with the latter because I don’t believe for a second that Jughead would just accept a breakup notice sent via Archie. True, Jug was a little busy at the time getting fitted for a giant rubber serpent mask, but it’s still too far out of character for him.  The Black Hood continues to torture Betty, holding her to his will by threatening her sister, claiming he knows where she is. While it clearly pains Betty to do all this, she feels she’s making a sacrifice and saving her friends by playing along. When the Hood reveals that he knows that Betty has been confiding in Archie, she has to offer up another name for the chopping block and she gives up Nick St. Claire. To which I say ‘bravo’. However, we still don’t know who this masked man is and the list of suspects isn’t that long at the moment. In fact, it’s just one guy. That’s right, it’s theory time. Now, let’s bear in mind that I guessed Jason’s killer wrong three times before guessing correctly that the killer was Clifford. At that time the killer could have been anyone though. I feel we have less choices when it comes to the Black Hood . . . How does he know where Polly is? Who has access to Alice’s mugshot article? Who knows all the dirty little Riverdale secrets? Who of the supporting cast have we heard very little from over the past 5 episodes? The answer - Hal Cooper! I know, I know, you’re screaming that it’s not possible. It can’t be Betty’s own father! Really? Let’s look at the facts. 1) No one knows where Polly is except the Cooper family. 2) Hal would certainly know about Alice’s past and be able to dig up that old mugshot. 3) Alice is enough to drive any man to murder. 4) He would have known about Miss Grundy through Alice. 5) Hal has been privy to all of Riverdale’s secrets including the Cooper/Blossom scandal. 6) This is the same guy that happily locked up his pregnant daughter in a mental institution. And the final nail in the coffin - The episode is titled ‘When a Stranger Calls’ from the 1979/2006 movie(s) of the same name. In that movie, a babysitter is plagued by phone calls from an unseen killer. The final infamous quote by the police after tracing the calls is, “The calls are coming from inside the house!” And that’s exactly what’s happening here. The calls are coming from inside the house. Betty’s house! I’m calling it now . . . The Black Hood is Hal Cooper. Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Until next week . . .  Stray Thoughts of Awesomeness . . .
 I truly thought nothing could replace Guardians of the Galaxy as Marvel's funniest movie, but ding ding we have a new winner. TR is not as much a superhero movie as it is a comedy. Right from the opening scene you can tell the tone of the franchise had shifted, and for the better. The first Thor felt a little too pompous while the sequel went a little too dark elf. However, Thor Ragnarok takes a sharp right turn and we're treated to an 80's style sci-fi adventure comedy complete with colourful visuals and a score featuring rock ballads and synthesizer instrumentals.
Hemsworth looked like he was having so much more fun than previous movies and threw himself back into the roll with full force. Cate Blanchett as Hela never really got to shine as her plan for destruction and mayhem was railroaded by Heimdell the whole time. Ruffalo's Hulk is still my favourite Hulk and even more so now that he can speak. Tessa Thompson as Valkyrie had some great moments, particularly her entrance. Loki continues to be mischievous. The story twists and turns at a helluva pace and after an hour I began to dread the ending because it was just so much fun! Special mentions have to go to Benedict Cumberbatch reprising his role as Dr Strange (THAT is the Dr Strange I want to see) and Jeff Goldblum for his perfect and hilarious portrayal of the Grand Master. In a lot of ways he fully steals the show! Great movie and just an all round good time. Highly recommended! This week’s episode of Riverdale proved one important thing: Even when the story is centered around Archie, he’s still not very interesting. Riverdale is devolving into a state of chaos and I’m starting to miss the days when the biggest drama was caused by Veronica and Archie making out in a closet. Remember those days? No, me either.  In the end, this week’s episode went nowhere fast and ended with no further development than what was already revealed within the first five minutes of the episode. But rather than talk in circles (red ones), let’s just get to it . . . Let’s start with our friendly neighbourhood catalyst, Mr. Lodge. Ronnie’s old man is proving to be a true agent of chaos, someone who plants seeds in simple minds and watches as it all goes to crap. Even at the town hall meeting he talked briefly about using Fred Andrews to his own end. A master manipulator, someone should keep an eye on that Ricky Ricardo reject.  The episode’s big reveal was when Betty receives a weird package to the office of the Blue and Gold. Apparently high school newspapers receive mail. They also don’t appear to have any other staff than Betty. All that aside, the Black Hood’s motivation is revealed to be Betty herself. During her rousing speech at the town hall at the end of last season, she apparently inspired a serial killer. Betty takes the targeting of the letter and attached cypher as a challenge and doesn’t confide in anyone, except Kevin. And truly, even when Jughead finds out, it’s because he found the letter himself and not because Betty trusted him enough to let him in on her secret. The show is clearly pushing a rift between Bughead, but they’re taking their sweet time doing it. As for the Black Hood, who fails to show up and kill someone at the town hall meeting like he mentioned in his cypher, he’s someone who knows Betty well. He was there for her speech, he knows the inner workings of her life, and he knows exactly which book she used to take out of the library as a little girl. I briefly considered that the killer might be the librarian. I don’t know why, she just seemed a little creepy when Jughead was taking books out.  On the other side of town, Jughead is keeping a few secrets of his own and is hanging out with Toni who loves a good serial killer story as much as the next girl. He also denies his friendship with Archie to his serpent buddies, which let’s face it, is pretty smart under the circumstances. Which brings us to the man of the hour. The mantle of Riverdale redheaded psycho has been successfully passed from Cheryl Blossom to Archie Andrews. To the point that even his own Dad doesn’t trust him anymore. And when Luke Perry doesn’t trust you, you’ve got problems. After Archie creates his militia video, most people are none-too-pleased. I’m not even sure why he made the video, or why half the people had to be half naked. Also, are there no fat people at Riverdale High? Whether Archie is aiming to be a vigilante or a hero, or both, he’s going about it all wrong. Even after Mr. Weatherbee lays down the law, and Archie’s team abandons him, a new creature emerges from the darkness. Dilton Doiley is the devil on Archie’s shoulder. Sadly Archie is missing an angel to steer him in the right direction so instead of considering how stupid it is for a teenage boy to go running around with a gun, or head into Southside territory, he instead heads to a gun shop, buys ammo and paint, and tootles off to meet some Serpents. And we all know nothing strikes fear into the hearts of a biker gang like graffiti. His actions catch the attention of Sheriff Keller, who does nothing (classic Keller), and results in a street brawl with the Serpents outside his home and Dilton getting stabbed in the leg, which kind of serves him right.  The only positive that occurs here is Archie realizing what an idiot he’s being and, with Ronnie’s urging, throws the gun into the river. Veronica proved this week that she’s just as manipulative as her father and seems to be able to control Archie quite easily. She’s also a super supportive girlfriend. Archie started a cult, Veronica started a clothing line. The final scene shows Betty receiving a call from the Black Hood, begging the question who is the Black Hood? Here’s what we know so far . . .
STRAY THOUGHTS OF AWESOMENESS . . .
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Welcome to the blog of Author, Andrew Buckley. Why Blogocity? Why do I need a reason? Here you’ll find updates, musings, vlogs, audio clips, images, events, and all sorts of other silly stuff. Enjoy!
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