Bite Sized Movie Reviews - February/March 2017

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2

There are few action movies that display such a unique style when it comes to delivering head-exploding thrills.

John Wick 2 was excellent. It's a stylish action movie with some remarkable layers of greek mythology woven throughout, so much so that I had to go back and rewatch the first one to see what I so blatantly missed the first time around. Reeves commits to the role and the fight/gunplay choreography is among the best in anything I've seen in a long time. Supported by heavyweights like Ian McShane and Matrix alumni, Laurence Fishburne, this is a great entry into what appears to be a trilogy (and beyond) of films. There are few action movies that display such a unique style when it comes to delivering head-exploding thrills, but Wick does it again and again (and again, and again, and so on). Highly recommend!

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LOGAN

Logan was a heart-wrenching movie full of great action, brutal snikt attacks, and some truly touching moments.

Easily the best Wolverine movie to date. Jackman was amazing as the aged and jaded superhero. Patrick Stewart as a slightly senile professor X was truly excellent and, in certain scenes, hilarious. Stewart’s acting is always spot, and this being his final turn as Professor X, he really gave the character a perfect send off. Special mentions have to go to Richard E Grant who is eternally creepy (in life in general), Stephen Merchant because it took me a while to realize who he was, and to Dafne Keen who killed it (in more ways than one) as X-23. Jackman’s two decade journey as Wolverine has had its ups and downs but I’m thankful they’re ending it on a high note. Snikt! Also, don’t take the kids to this one. It’s violent as all hell.

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KONG: SKULL ISLAND

Kong stole the show and resumed his pre-Peter Jackson status as a movie monster and not just a giant ape.

I honestly thought I'd pass on Kong: Skull Island, but after hearing the director on Doug Loves Movies talk about it with such passion, I had to give it a look. It was really quite good. Definitely a simplistic story and the 'lookers' of the cast really didn't have a ton to do. Hiddleston showed his tensed muscles and looked his usual brand of clean yet rugged sexy, and Larson wore the hell out of that tank top. Goodman and Jackson were top notch as usual and John C Reilly was hilarious. Kong stole the show and resumed his pre-Peter Jackson status as a movie monster and not just a giant ape. His size is pumped up this time round and apparently he's 'not done growing'. So when it comes time to lay the smackdown with Godzilla, he might have a better fighting chance than just nibbling on his ankles. Not a thinker of a movie but a really fun popcorn-fueled action adventure.

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FIFTY SHADES DARKER

Anastasia is the laziest lover in the world and has the sexual sensitivity of a landmine.

My wife really wanted to see this so we took in a screening at the cheap theatre. I didn't see the first one so I thought I'd have a hard time keeping up with the story. Turns out I was wrong. There was no story. No act structure. No turning point. Possibly one inciting incident. One character had some minor development. I spent an hour trying to figure out the plot and was so happy when one character emerged as a ‘bad guy’, until he promptly vanished for the rest of the movie. Anastasia is the laziest lover in the world and has the sexual sensitivity of a landmine. Both points caused me to laugh . . . a lot. I know there's a lot of outrage over the treatment of women in the franchise and the message it sends to people. But after seeing this movie, I have to disagree. It's all so fantastical and unrealistic that the outrage becomes a bit of a moot point. Three things worked . . . The popcorn was really good. The soundtrack was solid. My date was super-sexy ;)